October 22nd was the 1 year anniversary of the publication of my first novella, Trashland A Go-Go. That’s pretty damn exciting. WHAT a year it’s been!
It’s been full of excitement and, more recently, some sadness. But as my year long trial with the New Bizarro Author Series comes to a close, I can’t help but be excited.
In 18 days I will be reunited with my fellow NBASers at the 5th annual BizarroCon and we will find out what the next year holds for us. THAT is even more exciting! I’m keeping all of my appendages crossed in anticipation.
We entered into this series, all vying for a contract with Eraserhead Press and the process has been incredible. I got to have my first novella published, which seems to have been pretty well received. I got to read multiple reviews of my work and see what other people drew from my words, which was a REALLY interesting experience. I gained many friends and, what I feel, is a second family.
Although the eight NBAS authors are all technically competing for contracts, there was virtually ZERO rivalry. We swapped sources, reviews, interviews and were generally a support system for each other over the course of the year. As corny as it may sound, the connection that formed between us was undeniable. I hope it is this way for all the previous NBAS authors, as well as those to come.
There are only SIX days left to purchase our books to have them count toward our sales goals. Help out some aspiring authors and pick up a few new books today! Click HERE to purchase any/all of the 2011 New Bizarro Author Series releases. I’d love for all of us to succeed.
If the thought of making EIGHT dreams come true isn’t enticing enough for you, all NBAS 2011 releases are available under the 4 for the price of 3 deal! Cha-CHING!
This past weekend I was invited to read at the Hyaena Gallery in sunny Burbank California with Andrew Goldfarb, Cody Goodfellow, Mark Leventhal, Laura Lee Bahr and fellow NBAS-ers Michael Allen Rose and Spike Marlowe.
“Invited” is a term I use loosely. Really, I was invited to the event by Michael Allen Rose and had planned on going just to visit with some of my Bizarro friends, watch them read and perform and have a great time before going back home.
About a week before the event I received an email with the reading schedule. I was listed as opener. SURPRISE! And here I thought I was just going to be in the audience.
WRONG!
I had all these excuses, like: “I can’t afford a hotel” and “I can’t afford a plane ticket” and “I’m too much of a giant pussy to read to a group of people.”
Laura Lee Bahr solved one of them when she opened her home to me (and several other Bizarros) and offered to let me stay there for the weekend. Andrew Goldfarb solved another when he said that, since he lives in the Bay Area but was on tour, if I could get to Los Angeles he could bring me back home. Spike Marlowe said I could catch a ride down with her superhero self. Two of my friends, Jezra and Kristel, gave me money for expenses.
It would have been immensely stupid to refuse. Everything but the antidote to being a giant pussy was handed to me. Not on a silver platter, but rather in two cleverly marked envelopes.
“Food, Tampons, Postcard/ Hooker and Blow”
I had to suck it up. I was slotted to read for 10 minutes. I just had to get through 10 minutes entertaining people and then I would have, as Vince Kramer says, “The most fun EVER!”
My friend Michael Kazepis spent a lot of time helping me sort through the mess and copy edit, as I strung together a series of vignettes that I have been working on about customers who come into the adult/head shop where I work. This seemed like a good idea to me. When I post about them on Facebook they are the most commented and “liked” of my statuses, which leads me to believe that people enjoy hearing about me dealing with perverts. Which kind of makes you guys jerks.
The idea is that I would get to stand up in front of a room full of people and put some weirdos on blast. That ended up making me more comfortable than a “proper” reading.
We read at the Hyaena Gallery in Burbank California and I can’t stress to you enough how incredible their collection is. It’s all lovely horror art and I NEED every single piece in that place. Here are some stolen photos of amazing art:
Check them out if you’re in the area. ABSOLUTELY worth it.
I think Andrew Goldfarb asked me about five times if I was ready to go on. Each time I responded “Ehhhhh…?” and he’d say I could have another 5-10 minutes, until finally I said I would probably never be ready so we should just get on with it.
So, I stood up on a chair in a gallery filled with fanfuckingtastic arts, and people who love the things I love, and a few people who love ME (present or in spirit) and launched into my CREEPS piece.
It seemed to be well received! But you can judge for yourself!
A little shaky, a little nervous, and kind of sweaty. But I did it Goddamnit! I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good to get up there and overcome that fear, no matter how hesitant I was.
Hey, Fear. FUCK YOU!
It felt even better to have people come up afterwards and tell me they liked it. This was only the second time I had done a live reading.
The part where all the anticipation and nerves crashed and I threw up in John Skipp’s house felt less good. Snuggling with his dog Scooby fixed that though. That dog is a LOVE BUG! I’m still obsessing about her.
Everyone was fantastic.
Michael Allen Rose educated us about the dangers of Cranial Party Wolf Infestation..
Spike Marlowe showed us how a placenta ought to be treated.
Mark Leventhal read from The Emerald Burrito of Oz, a fantastic adventure written by him and John Skipp.
Laura Lee Bahr knocked my motherfucking socks off and won my heart for all time with her medley of Beastie Boys songs accompanied by an accordion
I THOUGHT Cody Goodfellow was going to be there, but he sent this guy instead. (Keep an eye on your cigarette lighters when he’s around)
Andrew Goldfarb/ The Slow Poisoner sang us some spooky stories
The entire weekend was magic.
I kept saying that I was going to be bummed to have to go back to “Real Life” until I realized…this IS my life! And how very grateful I am for that. I know amazing talented people who care about me and are willing to help me achieve this dream of mine. Not everyone has a support system like that. I’d be a fool to not gush about it. So: GUSH GUSH GUSH I ADORE YOU PEOPLE! GUSH GUSH
On Saturday evening we packed a picnic and headed over to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and watched Stanley Kubric’s Lolita projected on the side of a mausoleum. Cinespia apparently puts on this event all summer long. I can’t imagine anywhere else that would allow for use of the cemetery space this way. But, leave it to Los Angeles.
If you’re in the area, or will be at some point this summer, check out their summer film schedule. This weekend they will be showing A Nightmare on Elm Street.
I’m dying. I can’t believe I won’t get to watch that in a cemetery. So, if you can, you should. It’s only $10. Not much more than a regular movie. Plus you can’t beat the ambiance and you can bring booze and whatever food you’d like. (Personally, we went a little nuts. But I’m okay with that. YOGURT STARS 4 EVAH!)
Check out the full photo attack here. Some of these photos were stolen..erm..borrowed and others have nothing to do with the reading itself, but are from the weekend and probably contain a few cameos <3 click images to enlarge
Event Flyer- of course I kept it. I’m a sentimental fuck. <3
“Food, Tampons, Postcard/ Hooker and Blow”
We stopped to eat on our way south. I picked up my cookie and decided that it probably contained a message that said something like “You will spontaneously combust at 8pm”. But I got this instead. <3
Melissa Harris lent me this bracelet for luck. It was custom made for her in Louisiana and each charm is a pulp fiction title. Perfect for the occasion.
Just another reason to love Laura Lee Bahr
LLB’s cat G.G. and I were in love by the end of the weekend.
Your nervous narrator soaking up some SoCal sun on the way to the gallery.
And then I saw this. Lovely.
artworks
art works II- This one looks exactly like Melissa Harris
artworks III
artworks IV
Here I am reading words to all these nice people.
Spike Marlowe shows us how a placenta ought to be treated
Brenda Anders tells her placenta how nice and pink it looked.
Placenta pleasers
Placenta pleasers II
Mark Leventhal reading from The Emerald Burrito of Oz
Michael Allen Rose and his Party Wolf Cranial Infestation Graph
Laura and her tribute to Adam Yauch accompanied by an accordion. Did I mention that I love her?!
Laura’s tribute to the powerful spirit haunting her.
John Skipp was being tortured. His head was in this box and he was forced to listen to Moby. He must have done something awful to Cody to deserve this.
What happens after prolonged exposure to Moby.
The Slow Poisoner singing my favorite of his songs “Flaming Arrow”.
Andrew Goldfarb/ The Slow Poisoner
John Skipp sits in on bongos with the Slow Poisoner
arts and listeners <3
arts and listeners II
Rose after some juggling
Farmer’s Market food truck brunch – egg, homemade sausage, kale and aioli with fresh watermelon juice.
Farmers Market Brunch Bunch- (clockwise from left) Michael Rose, Me!, John Skipp, Laura Lee Bahr and Ezra Werb
The combination of these two things on a shelf made me happier than anything sitting on shelf should make me.
Cool Haus- pick your ice cream, pick your cookie, make that magic happen <3
Cemetery crowd
Laura’s friend Gregg…Gary? Gregg? Whatever, his shirt was rad. <3
Ezra gives a pep talk to some salt water taffy while we picnic in line for cemetery movies.
“What the fuck is a ‘yogurt star’?”
“Awesome” is the answer.
He was correct to guard them in my presence.
cemetery picnic movie line
Laura Lee Lolly
A dramatic reading of the Sugar Pie wine bottle by Michael Allen Rose
Andrew Goldfarb and I saw a truckload of caskets. Pt I
Pt II
PtIII
And to end it all with a bang, just like at the gallery, here is Rose juggling machetes!